Article Review: “Flourishing on Facebook: Virtue Friendship & New Social Media.”

Vallor, S. 2012. Flourishing on facebook: virtue friendship & new social media. Ethics and Information Technology, 14(3), 185-199. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10676-010-9262-2

Article summary: As pervasive as social media has become in people’s lives, very little attention has been paid academically to the ethics of its use. Vallor’s article seeks to recognize the “ethical significance” of social media in relation to friendship (p. 186). She applies Aristotle’s virtue ethics, stating several reasons for this decision, including that friendship plays an important part in Aristotle’s “good life,” that it has “conceptual flexibility,” and can “account for the long-term and cumulative impact of particular practices on our character” (p. 186-7). Having a thriving social media life does not necessarily mean you have a “good life,” however. Does social media cause people to develop ethical traits, or does it prevent them from doing so? Vallor explores this through examination of the themes of “reciprocity, empathy, self-knowledge, and the shared life” (p. 188).

               

     Reciprocity, which is a “give and take” in social situations, is a key virtue in Aristotle’s concept of friendship (p. 189). Facebook and other social media platforms present an impressive array of opportunities for reciprocity. Think of how often we interact with others on social media, even just a simple “like” or “share” is a show of reciprocity. Are these activities virtuous though? Political and charitable posts, meant to gain support or outrage regarding social or world issues, illustrate ways that reciprocity can be used in a virtuous way through social media. But do they foster true, deep friendship? Generally no. But Facebook may be instrumental in maintaining “complete friendships” that would otherwise have died off without social media intervention (p. 191).  

     Empathy, feeling another’s feelings, is another facet of friendship, although Artistotle does not specifically address it directly. Vallor asserts that empathy is something that we must maintain and accept, or else we retreat behind hard shells and cannot connect in this important way. Social media, again, presents many ways of expressing empathy for one another (whether or not these are all illustrative of real empathy, well, that is up for debate). Simply “showing up” to offer support is still indicative of an attempt at empathy, putting forth the effort of posting “get well soon” is still something. But is it enough to foster the virtue of empathy, or is it empty ritual?

               

      Self-knowledge, which I liken to emotional intelligence, is another part of Aristotle’s definition of friendship. Introspection and assessment of one’s own virtues and failings, and then the friendship that helps build up and reflect the virtues (and the providing of that type of friendship) is essential. Can social media make us more self aware? Vallor says that when people who feel alone are able to connect with other people like them online, and see that they are not alone, the connection and mirroring of selves can bring about this sort of self-knowledge (p. 195). However, this is a more shallow type of self-knowledge than what Aristotle meant. Social media does not appear to be fostering deep discussion and self awareness.

               

     The “shared life” is essentially what it sounds like: “living together” (p. 196). Presence in someone else’s world is important for friendship, as relationships tend to die when they are distant. How can we share lives online, though? The definition would need to change somewhat. Because of social media’s usefulness in maintaining friendships (as opposed to creating new ones), social interaction online could be seen as a way of stretching out a shared life. Social media can also facilitate a shared life, by providing a platform for organizing face-to-face events.

                

     This is a more complex and larger issue than Vallor can capture in this snapshot, and she emphasizes that it is important to contextualize social media (and not reify it) in the larger culture we live in today. However, she has concerns that the shallowness of communication as a whole in modern life constitutes a negative impact on our development of virtuous friendships. She ends the piece with a call to ethicists and philosophers to take a closer look at the issue.

My conclusions: Based on how Vallor describes Aristotle’s vision of a complete friendship, I think that (as she does note) they would be rare regardless of social media’s effect. However, from personal experience, some very deep and true friendships can develop online. I do not think that social media is a barrier to such connection, but I do agree that there are some comfortable rituals that wear away at true empathy and real engagement. Facebook’s birthday notifications are endemic of the empty rituals we engage in online. A quick “happy birthday!” and done. Rarely do I put forth more effort than that, and sometimes I see them and don’t even bother. However, I cannot help but think that this sort of shallow reciprocity is endemic “IRL” as well, with acquaintances, coworkers, and the like.

                

     Aristotles’s virtue ethics is interesting to me – I know very little about it, I am just a beginner! I would be interested in an anthropological study exploring cultural conceptions of friendship in the framework of his ideas, if anyone could reciprocate kindly and throw me a link or citation, I would enjoy that.

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